Living life "behind the camera", and going to Mars

I think I'm going to try to make a daily habit out of this blogging thing. I hope it will be cathartic.

I'm currently trying to learn to read music...I've been trying to do so for almost a year now...pretty much complete failz. But I keep trying!

A while ago I read about an individual who collected plastic bottles, netted and tied them together, and made a one-man nation, known as Spiral Island. I'm going to do that some day, but with more people and money...who knows, maybe we'll teach the world something. I'll post my speculations about this endeavor at a later time.

Now for bitching.

I feel like I live life "behind the camera". I think this is the reason for my drug use, alcohol especially really helps me escape that. Day to day, life feels listless and uninteresting; I feel like I get up every morning because I have to (although less I'll admit, going to my new school has really helped that); I watch other people giggle and have fun, I chuckle at people's jokes and misfortunes.

I love talking to people, like REALLY talk, I can't for the life of me stand the dullness of silence/smalltalk. But it just doesn't happen...

Exercising has also helped a bit, I see and feel myself get a lot bigger and stronger and feel a small sense of pride about it.

Most of the time my mind is a blank slate, void of much thought at all, my eyes stare vacantly into the space in front of me. On the bus, I hear conversations on the bus but I just don't care, I see shit going down that I don't like but my conscious isn't stirred. I go through the day with minimal energy, I feel tired and generally depressed (not really about anything, just a lowered state of emotion).

When I can stir up the energy to play guitar, it DOES feel great. Music comes out of me and it feels like I'm letting all the shit that clogs my soul out.

Bitch note number two: life ONLY as I know it.

I guess I shouldn't complain about my life's stability regardless of its general dullness, but I have to say, life as I know it is pretty lame: go to school and do the work, and when that's done, booze and smoke and play video games and music. Eat, sleep, poop, et cetera. Although, hmm, maybe that's not so bad...

I'm wondering what life would be like outside of my house, I guess I would just do the same thing in some frat house someplace when I'm in college (if that ever happens) and when that's done with rent some apartment or house and do the same thing with some job that may or may not involve my degree of whatever.

Which leads me to a dream.

Whatever happened to kids dreaming of growing up to become astronauts?! I mean that's so fucking cool! These days, the "New Frontier" is something it seems that us young folk think is just stupid as all hell. I guess that's something I should add to my vast conservative conspiracy theory that the right is subtly indoctrinating us at a young age to disregard science...*ahem* anyways...

Sophomore year of high school I read a terrific astrophysics piece by Robert Zurbin, entitled "The Case For Mars: How and Why Humankind MUST Explore the Red Planet" (or something of that nature, I could be a bit off). As the title kindly points out, Zurbin explains the means, method, and reason for manned missions to explore and eventually COLONIZE Mars.

Hey, I don't know about anyone else but I think that IS FUCKING COOL!

The hell of a trip: he says it would only take about 180 days to get there. Fucking crazy awesome. I would do it even if it was my death sentence.

If nobody else has the ganas or the guts to go, fuck it, I'll do it no matter what kind of crazy radiation poisoning I might get. Science is a glorious cause. In fact, just to add, I don't want my body buried or cremated when I die. Give my blood to someone who needs it, donate the rest of me to science! Or give my heart or my organs or whatever to some person who needs a transplant.

When we finally get our lazy human asses over to Mars, we need to fucking colonize it! I'll do it, shit, it would be kinda dull living 45-lightminutes (distance from Earth to Mars) from everyone I know and love but I'd still be like "bitch I'm on Mars!". Shit would be different on Mars. You can't pollute like you can on Earth because guess what? If you do, you would INSTANTLY fuck over the entire population of the planet.

I think it would be pretty sweet to be 20% lighter. If I could spend just half an hour in 0.8 Gs that would be fantastic.

If this ever happens, I'd like to build a mansion with a nice view of Olympus Mons (a mountain on Mars many MANY times the size of Everest), and I could live there with my family and friends. We could have a ranch to grow Martian corn and raise Martian cattle, and my kids would be the first Martians! Well the first HUMAN Martians at least...hehe.

Hope that was enjoyable, readers! Until next time, post your enamorance/hate below.

Peace
~Michael "Cow" Mullinax